dating a guy from small town oklahoma has several perks: the charming accent, the huge extended family, the people skills that come from growing up in a place where everyone knows you, and the extensive knowledge of wildlife from having killed and/or eaten most of the area's animals. but greater than all those things, my adventures with blake have led me to all parts of the state, to towns like "pink" and "asher." to towns he'd call big based on their possession of not one but TWO gas stations AND a stop light.

last saturday, i tagged along with blake to watch him umpire a couple of baseball games in sulphur, oklahoma. when we arrived, he informed me that the games would start in about an hour, tossed me his keys, and suggested i drive around and "see the sights" of sulphur. i laughed, blake did not. i stared at blake, he stared back. alright, i decided, i'll see the sights of sulphur. i hopped in his car and took off down main street. i passed a sonic, a taco mayo, a roadside stand selling flowers, a gas station, and another gas station. i turned the car around. i drove back past the two gas stations, the roadside stand, the taco mayo, the sonic, and ended up back at the ball field. i had seen the sights. and now, it was time to more closely examine the sonic and spend some quality time with blake's ipod.

half an hour later, and i realized more drastic means of distraction were needed. i tried to call mom. my cell phone laughed at my attempts to get service. i played the wave the antenna around in the air game and finally got a very weak signal. i tried to call mom again. in the middle of my very first sentence, (mom.. where IS sulphur anyway?) my cell phone died. wonderful.

plan b. obviously, this would be a perfect time to start catching up on a little bit of studying. studying of the latest spring fashions for 2004. i needed magazines. lots. i drove to the gas stations, chose the bigger and less dirty of the two, and walked cautiously inside. after a bit of searching, i finally asked the man behind the counter if they had any magazines. "we've got the autotrader!" he responded. i laughed, he did not. i stared at him, he stared back. defeated, i made a hasty retreat to the car.

thankfully, i spotted a walmart in the distance. good old, friendly walmart. i found a glamour and an in-touch and got in the check-out line. feeling somewhat excited with this successful venture, i decided to make friends with my fellow shoppers. the man and woman in front of me were buying the industrial extra super large bag of dog food. "must be a big dog!" i commented to the man. "oh no," he replied, "that's for the raccoons!" i stared. he continued, "oh, they're ok if you feed them, keeps them from getting rabies. you should see them when they're little, they look just like baby kittens. they like to crawl up and sit on my daughter's shoulder!"

small town oklahoma, i am falling in love with you. add a couple more sonics, a few more places which sell the good magazines, maybe a mall in the near vicinity, and some wireless internet capabilities, and i am SO done with the big cities for good.

give me a pet raccoon, and i'll move tomorrow.

(without rabies, thanks.)