everyone, meet tim.

tim is from chicago. tim's hardest class this semester is judo. tim likes to hide in his kitchen at parties and eat ice cream by himself.

hi tim.

tim is being honored on madpony today because monday night, as i prepared to endure an hour of sorority chapter with a pounding headache, tim called and suggested i skip the meeting to go see a movie with him. this is what real friends do. help you in your times of need. give you a shoulder to cry on. and most importantly, distract you from your responsibilities. and for this, tim, you are honored.

i got to select the movie, and my choice was mystic river.

i liked the name, i liked all of the actors in it. i'd heard good things - that it was deep, dramatic, and haunting.

which is true, but everyone forgot to tell me it was also Freaking Creepy.

how much horrible stuff can you cram into 2 hours and 17 minutes? try child molestation, child rape, homosexual pedophiles, murdering of bad people, murdering of innocent people, murdering of a kid, lots of cutting, lots of blood, prison, did I mention all of the dead people, and scary references to the church.

the most disturbing part of the movie for me, besides the fact that sean penn is terrifying, was tim robbins' role. the shawshank redemption, which he stars in, is one of my all-time favorite movies. so, in this movie, when tim robbins finds himself in a particularly precarious position i find myself nearly screaming at the movie screen. "he's not evil! he didn't do anything! he's a nice guy! HE COLLECTS ROCKS!!!!!"

the high point of the movie, according to Tim, was the part where i tried to cover my ears with his hands. i say i was trying to cover my entire head.

i left the movie sad, tired, and mortally afraid of sean penn.

i recommend seeing the movie, if you're one of those deep, thinky, masochistic kind of people. otherwise, i recommend finding nemo. which is what i had to watch twice to get to sleep monday night.

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elsewhere: if you came here to read about baseball, let me recommend someplace better. our favorite little fantasy baseball player, ryan perry, has a new site devoted to sports called no blood no foul. go visit, read, post in the forums, and send ryan a nice little email about how he's going to lose $5 this weekend in a wager he made with a Certain Madpony on the OU/osu football game.