dear she who we need to talk.
it's been more than a week, and you still have the new harry potter book.
clearly, mom bought that book so that i could read it. clearly, mom did not buy that book so you could use it as a nightstand coaster for your dr. pepper cans.
perhaps you really are reading it. still, i can't help but question your dedication. i read all four previous books in a one-week period while lifeguarding last summer, lauren. i set aside the lives of many small children to share in the adventures of harry and the gang at hogwarts. i allowed my coworkers to taunt me mercilessly, because i knew that as long as i had harry, i had everything.
that's love, lauren. that's true harry potter love.
yeah, i know tony posted a link to the entire book online, but that just feels like cheating. i need the book, a nice diet coke with a twist of lime, and a comfortable chair. nothing but the best for harry.
anyway, i really don't appreciate this. not only am i forced to question your committment to the greatest literary figure of our time, you're also keeping me and my dear teenage wizard boyfriend apart. i'm not sure i can last much longer without knowing what perils harry will face and magnificently defeat in book five.
in other words, finish the book before friday or you might just find that it has mysteriously vanished in the night. i'll make that book disappear, and if you try to hide it from me, i'll make you disappear.
dedication, lauren. dedication.
do it for harry. do it for yourself. but, most importantly, do it for me. now. or else.
kristin
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