you might not guess it at first glance, but i suffer from several addictions. several severe, harmful addictions.

the diet coke, (especially with the recent and ingenious addition of lime to its fruit-enhanced varieties.)

the cell phoneage, (even with my little gimpy excuse for a phone.)

the reality tv, (american idol, america's next top model, the newlyweds, the bachelorette, and extreme makeover. and those are just the ones i watch religiously.)

the shoes, (obviously.)

and perhaps even more obviously, being a girl with a website, the interneting.

i do spend a fair amount of time online, i must admit. getting on the internet to check the e-mail, engaging in a bit of instant messaging, the occasional purchasing of a few items online, and the less occasional updating of the website are all most definitely vital parts of my daily routine. which is why, after four days of no internet at the sorority house, i'm going through some pretty fierce withdrawals.

the first time i tried to connect gabby, (yes that is my laptop's name, no your taunting does not faze me,) only to receive an error message, i wasn't too terribly alarmed. with 96 girls sharing one connection, these things happen from time to time.

as the days passed, my discontent grew. i tried to busy myself with the other pleasures of life, like snood and ricky lake, but to no avail.

three days into the drought, and i put gabby and her case into the closet. it was simply too painful for me to look at her anymore.

day four and i did the lowest thing imaginable. in the cold, in the snow and sleet and horrible freezing ghastly weather, i put on my scarf and mittens and coat and trudged across campus to the university computer lab. after waiting for nearly half an hour to gain access to one of the machines, i struggled with the electronic relic as it crashed three times in my apparently overwhelming attempts to open not one but TWO internet explorer windows simultaneously. i left the lab after an hour of frustration, vowing never to return.

finally, now that i'm home for my weekly laundry/family bonding trip, i'm getting to spend a little bit of quality time online. the e-mails of concern have been responded to, the instant messages have been messaged, and the online purchases have been purchased. and yes, the shaking and twitching has subsided.

so here it is, my online ultimatum.

dear those in charge of the sorority:

if monday rolls around and the house is still without dsl goodness, i'm packing my bags and heading home. because i can go a week or two without diet coke. i can even turn the cell phone off and stay away from the mall AND the tv. but so help me God, if i miss participating in any juicy online winter sales because of this sorority sabotage, there will be hell to pay. Hell. To. Pay.

yours in the loving bonds of sisterhood, sorta,

kristin

(ps also if you could add lime diet coke to the vending machine in the basement, that would be fabulous. mkay thanks.)