have you ever known a store which, no matter how attractive every single item appears in the catalog or on the website or on your friends, you can never find anything there? yeah. because i do.

oh j. crew baby, why do you tease me so?

our relationship started out smoothly a couple of years ago. because we didn't actually have a j. crew in oklahoma, (i can almost hear all of you east-and-west-coasters collectively gasp,) i was forced to admire the store from afar. a crush was born. finally, i decided to take the plunge and order a cute little jacket. the jacket arrived, we went out a few times, it was nothing serious but i was definitely still interested.

i was there the day j. crew finally opened a store in the oklahoma city mall, and i can't lie, after my success with the jacket i was pretty optimistic. now that we wouldn't be forced into a frustrating long-distance relationship, i really thought that j. and i could have something special. and when i walked through the doors, i wasn't disappointed. the store looked great, the clothes looked great, and i was euphoric.

thirty minutes of dressing room frustration later, i left the store broken-hearted. it wasn't that the clothes weren't cute or stylish enough, we just didn't have any chemistry. no spark. no magic.

i still venture into the store from time to time with casey, who routinely finds absolutely adorable things on the men's side. and while we're there, sometimes a cute little jacket will catch my eye, and i'll remember my first success with j. i re-live the whole relationship, and my heart breaks all over again.

i guess it's hard to get past what could have been. maybe i'm just not in the right place right now. i can kind of see myself going back to j. crew maybe 10 or 15 years down the line, when i move from "college student" to "young professional" or even "young professional mother." but it's hard to say. the feelings just aren't there.

i'll always remember you fondly, j. crew. you're a great store with a lot to offer someone very lucky. i guess i'm just not that girl.

but at least we'll always have the jacket.